Vansh got inside the car, relieved that the tiresome and seemingly-endless day in office was finally over. He laid his head back into the seat and prepared himself for the hour-long drive to his home.
His beautiful home.. where lived his better-half, his life and wife Preetha... their precious daughter Rhea... His home had always been his refuge. He absolutely loved the feeling of going home at the end of the day. His was a small world, consisting of his family and a few selected time-tested friends who had stood by him since many years. In a way, they were his extended family. He was grateful for everything.. He had a job he loved, a great family and true friends.
And yet a single photograph had destroyed his little haven of peace.. The stab of guilt and remorse was too thick to ignore... The feeling that he left something unfinished kept eating him from inside.
It all started last month when he received a photograph in his Whatsapp group of college friends. Someone had found his number and added it to a group of people who had been with him in his college along with his other friends. Jokes, news, messages were regularly exchanged in the group. Vansh checked the group and communicated whenever he had time.
One fine day he found a photo downloading in the group. It was sent by Ritesh who had written 'Vansh... does this ring some bells?' with a eye-winking smiley. When Vansh opened the photo, he realised that it was taken on some annual day function. His heart beat faster as he realised that this was taken when he and Kriti were together. It was a group photo.. Vansh and Kriti had been standing side-by-side surrounded by their friends and Vansh had casually draped his hand around Kriti, holding her shoulder... While he had smiled at the camera, she had her focus only on him... She was gazing at him with such adoration in her face, it was clear how much in love she was... There was a tender smile in her face and love for him shone in her eyes..
As if by habit, Vansh checked the photo again as the car crept slowly along with the traffic... Every time he looked at Kriti's image, he felt terrible... The photo had brought in a wave of memories which he seemingly had forgotten...
He and Kriti had paired up after a year of friendship... Being together in class, travelling together with the same group of friends and a lot of group outings had brought them closer to each other. Though they were polar opposites of each other, they had hit it off really well. While he was more into the practical and rational side of life, she was a dreamer, a hopeless romantic at heart and a believer in miracles. His cynicism and her faith seemed to complement each other. They spent two blissful years in college as a couple, going on dates and movies and generally hanging out with each other or their friends together.
Looking back, Vansh could not pinpoint the exact time when they started drifting apart. But if he could, it would have been after their college term was finished. While she enrolled in a course of Arts for further studies, he started working in a BPO while simultaneously studying for his Master's Degree in Finance through correspondence. They both went by their daily chores and there were fewer and fewer meetings. Much of their communication took place over phone. She had his office phone number and called daily to talk to him. The initial days were fun as they both giggled over phone and exchanged news. After a while, Vansh felt a gap between them. Her daily antics in her Arts class didn't seem funny to him any more. And he didn't feel like talking about his job. Before he realised they both were speaking lesser and lesser over the phone.
Then, Vansh thought with regret and remorse, he had done the most cowardly thing that anyone could do. As he changed his job and went to work for some other BPO, he didn't give her any contact number. Of course, he had her home landline number but he never contacted her there. He spent the first few weeks in his new office, dreading that she would visit him in the office and create a scene. But there had been only silence from her. The silence which had seemed blissful at that time but which shouted to him now, calling him a coward and a deserter.
As he looked at his mobile, he smiled without humour, thinking that such technology was not available during his college days. He wondered whether his relationship with Kriti would have lasted if technology had intervened. He obviously didn't love her any more. He had a great family which was the only love of his life and he was totally devoted to his wife. He only had a deep sense of remorse whenever he saw Kriti. The unsaid goodbye tore at his heart, seeking for some kind of completion.
Thoughts of Kriti accompanied him when he reached home where Preetha and Rhea were waiting eagerly for him. He tried to hide his feelings and put up a good facade in front of them. He hugged Preetha, picked up Rhea and cuddled her for some time till she was satisfied and went for his daily evening bath. He felt isolated from them and totally alone in his own private hell.
After dinner and an hour of singing lullabies to Rhea, he finally had time alone in his hands as both mother and daughter fell asleep, looking totally at peace. Vansh lovingly carassed Preetha's hair and after a soft kiss to Rhea's tiny little fist, he woke up and stood at his balcony. It overlooked a beautiful lake and generally soothed him but not tonight.
He had to do something. He could ask his friends whether they had Kriti's contact number. It was highly impossible as Kriti had never shared her landline number with any other friends except for himself and a selected group of girls with whom he had lost contact years ago. Was there really no way to contact her and apologize? Was he doomed to carry this remorse in his heart forever?
He actually started shedding tears of desperation then. Because he longed for his peace of mind and contentment. He longed for her forgiveness. He longed for an ending.. He briefly closed his eyes and mentally spoke to Kriti asking her to forgive him for not even saying goodbye and ending a relationship properly. He kept his eyes shut until he felt an urge to open them.
When he opened his eyes, he saw a dim light blinking in the air, a few feet in front of him. He cleared his eyes and saw the light again. For reasons unknown to him, he felt a presence in the air. He felt her presence.
"Kriti?" he whispered, feeling ridiculous yet unable to believe anything.
The moment he spoke his name, the light materialised into a form. He saw her, clad in pajamas and a night suit, looking scared and totally confused. A cold hand gripped his heart when he realised that may be she had died already. The moment this thought entered his mind, he saw her shake her head vigorously and point towards her night suit. Ya, ghosts could not wear pajamas, he realised dully.
But then, what was the apparition he was seeing in front of him? Had he invoked her living consciousness unknowingly? This time she nodded her head slowly, as if she also had trouble believing this.
He felt a great sense of relief as he finally understood that the Universe had provided him his only chance of redemption. Slowly he began speaking to her.
"Kriti... I have been wanting to talk to you since a long time. I want to apologize. For being a coward and not ending our relationship mutually. For running away from a precious relationship. I just didn't have the guts to end it personally. Trust me, it is not something that I am proud of."
She listened to him intently, her face expressionless but benign. He went on.
"We both were doing just great together, I know. But after a while, I didn't feel any connection with you. I lost myself in my daily job routine and couldn't find anything common between us. If I had been braver, I would have dealt with this in a better way but I just couldn't end it by looking into your eyes. I knew how much you loved me. I couldn't bear to see the grief I knew I would be giving you to face. Did you grieve over me for a long time?" He desperately wished the answer would be no.
She only nodded her head sadly, her face, for the first time, expressing a deep sense of hurt and loss. Vansh wanted to break down completely and sob but he knew he wouldn't get a chance again to talk to her.
"I am so sorry, Kriti. I just hope you forgave me at some point of time and moved on. Are you married now? Do you have a family?" He asked gently.
She then smiled and nodded her head. She simultaneously raised her index finger and pointed to herself.
"You have a girl. I know she will be as beautiful as you are."
She smiled again and just stared at him. Somehow they both felt that their time together was ending.
"Please forgive me, Kriti.. " Vansh asked sadly for the last time.
She nodded her head and smiled at him, at the same time, making a gesture with her hand that seemed to tell him 'It's ok...'
A huge sense of relief flooded Vansh and tears misted his eyes as he said goodbye to her. He slowly felt the consciousness of Kriti drifting away from him and he could no longer see her apparition.
He returned to his bed, feeling contented and peaceful after a long long time and immediately drifted off to sleep.
The next morning, he lay in his bed with his eyes open and kept asking himself ... was it a dream... did it really happen.. He had no possible explanation for it. He only felt complete from within and felt peaceful.. as if a thorn that had kept pricking his heart had finally been taken out.
His cell pinged, showing a new message in Whatsapp. The notification was from a new number. When he opened the message, his heart lifted and broke out into a huge smile.. The message was from none other than Kriti. It read..
"Hi!!! Kriti here... got your number from Rahul!! how have you been? I know it sounds ridiculous, but it feels like we met recently.. May be I dreamed about you.. Anyways... how r u buddy!"
With a song in his heart, Vansh typed ' I am perfectly fine now, Kriti...'
His beautiful home.. where lived his better-half, his life and wife Preetha... their precious daughter Rhea... His home had always been his refuge. He absolutely loved the feeling of going home at the end of the day. His was a small world, consisting of his family and a few selected time-tested friends who had stood by him since many years. In a way, they were his extended family. He was grateful for everything.. He had a job he loved, a great family and true friends.
And yet a single photograph had destroyed his little haven of peace.. The stab of guilt and remorse was too thick to ignore... The feeling that he left something unfinished kept eating him from inside.
It all started last month when he received a photograph in his Whatsapp group of college friends. Someone had found his number and added it to a group of people who had been with him in his college along with his other friends. Jokes, news, messages were regularly exchanged in the group. Vansh checked the group and communicated whenever he had time.
One fine day he found a photo downloading in the group. It was sent by Ritesh who had written 'Vansh... does this ring some bells?' with a eye-winking smiley. When Vansh opened the photo, he realised that it was taken on some annual day function. His heart beat faster as he realised that this was taken when he and Kriti were together. It was a group photo.. Vansh and Kriti had been standing side-by-side surrounded by their friends and Vansh had casually draped his hand around Kriti, holding her shoulder... While he had smiled at the camera, she had her focus only on him... She was gazing at him with such adoration in her face, it was clear how much in love she was... There was a tender smile in her face and love for him shone in her eyes..
As if by habit, Vansh checked the photo again as the car crept slowly along with the traffic... Every time he looked at Kriti's image, he felt terrible... The photo had brought in a wave of memories which he seemingly had forgotten...
He and Kriti had paired up after a year of friendship... Being together in class, travelling together with the same group of friends and a lot of group outings had brought them closer to each other. Though they were polar opposites of each other, they had hit it off really well. While he was more into the practical and rational side of life, she was a dreamer, a hopeless romantic at heart and a believer in miracles. His cynicism and her faith seemed to complement each other. They spent two blissful years in college as a couple, going on dates and movies and generally hanging out with each other or their friends together.
Looking back, Vansh could not pinpoint the exact time when they started drifting apart. But if he could, it would have been after their college term was finished. While she enrolled in a course of Arts for further studies, he started working in a BPO while simultaneously studying for his Master's Degree in Finance through correspondence. They both went by their daily chores and there were fewer and fewer meetings. Much of their communication took place over phone. She had his office phone number and called daily to talk to him. The initial days were fun as they both giggled over phone and exchanged news. After a while, Vansh felt a gap between them. Her daily antics in her Arts class didn't seem funny to him any more. And he didn't feel like talking about his job. Before he realised they both were speaking lesser and lesser over the phone.
Then, Vansh thought with regret and remorse, he had done the most cowardly thing that anyone could do. As he changed his job and went to work for some other BPO, he didn't give her any contact number. Of course, he had her home landline number but he never contacted her there. He spent the first few weeks in his new office, dreading that she would visit him in the office and create a scene. But there had been only silence from her. The silence which had seemed blissful at that time but which shouted to him now, calling him a coward and a deserter.
As he looked at his mobile, he smiled without humour, thinking that such technology was not available during his college days. He wondered whether his relationship with Kriti would have lasted if technology had intervened. He obviously didn't love her any more. He had a great family which was the only love of his life and he was totally devoted to his wife. He only had a deep sense of remorse whenever he saw Kriti. The unsaid goodbye tore at his heart, seeking for some kind of completion.
Thoughts of Kriti accompanied him when he reached home where Preetha and Rhea were waiting eagerly for him. He tried to hide his feelings and put up a good facade in front of them. He hugged Preetha, picked up Rhea and cuddled her for some time till she was satisfied and went for his daily evening bath. He felt isolated from them and totally alone in his own private hell.
After dinner and an hour of singing lullabies to Rhea, he finally had time alone in his hands as both mother and daughter fell asleep, looking totally at peace. Vansh lovingly carassed Preetha's hair and after a soft kiss to Rhea's tiny little fist, he woke up and stood at his balcony. It overlooked a beautiful lake and generally soothed him but not tonight.
He had to do something. He could ask his friends whether they had Kriti's contact number. It was highly impossible as Kriti had never shared her landline number with any other friends except for himself and a selected group of girls with whom he had lost contact years ago. Was there really no way to contact her and apologize? Was he doomed to carry this remorse in his heart forever?
He actually started shedding tears of desperation then. Because he longed for his peace of mind and contentment. He longed for her forgiveness. He longed for an ending.. He briefly closed his eyes and mentally spoke to Kriti asking her to forgive him for not even saying goodbye and ending a relationship properly. He kept his eyes shut until he felt an urge to open them.
When he opened his eyes, he saw a dim light blinking in the air, a few feet in front of him. He cleared his eyes and saw the light again. For reasons unknown to him, he felt a presence in the air. He felt her presence.
"Kriti?" he whispered, feeling ridiculous yet unable to believe anything.
The moment he spoke his name, the light materialised into a form. He saw her, clad in pajamas and a night suit, looking scared and totally confused. A cold hand gripped his heart when he realised that may be she had died already. The moment this thought entered his mind, he saw her shake her head vigorously and point towards her night suit. Ya, ghosts could not wear pajamas, he realised dully.
But then, what was the apparition he was seeing in front of him? Had he invoked her living consciousness unknowingly? This time she nodded her head slowly, as if she also had trouble believing this.
He felt a great sense of relief as he finally understood that the Universe had provided him his only chance of redemption. Slowly he began speaking to her.
"Kriti... I have been wanting to talk to you since a long time. I want to apologize. For being a coward and not ending our relationship mutually. For running away from a precious relationship. I just didn't have the guts to end it personally. Trust me, it is not something that I am proud of."
She listened to him intently, her face expressionless but benign. He went on.
"We both were doing just great together, I know. But after a while, I didn't feel any connection with you. I lost myself in my daily job routine and couldn't find anything common between us. If I had been braver, I would have dealt with this in a better way but I just couldn't end it by looking into your eyes. I knew how much you loved me. I couldn't bear to see the grief I knew I would be giving you to face. Did you grieve over me for a long time?" He desperately wished the answer would be no.
She only nodded her head sadly, her face, for the first time, expressing a deep sense of hurt and loss. Vansh wanted to break down completely and sob but he knew he wouldn't get a chance again to talk to her.
"I am so sorry, Kriti. I just hope you forgave me at some point of time and moved on. Are you married now? Do you have a family?" He asked gently.
She then smiled and nodded her head. She simultaneously raised her index finger and pointed to herself.
"You have a girl. I know she will be as beautiful as you are."
She smiled again and just stared at him. Somehow they both felt that their time together was ending.
"Please forgive me, Kriti.. " Vansh asked sadly for the last time.
She nodded her head and smiled at him, at the same time, making a gesture with her hand that seemed to tell him 'It's ok...'
A huge sense of relief flooded Vansh and tears misted his eyes as he said goodbye to her. He slowly felt the consciousness of Kriti drifting away from him and he could no longer see her apparition.
He returned to his bed, feeling contented and peaceful after a long long time and immediately drifted off to sleep.
The next morning, he lay in his bed with his eyes open and kept asking himself ... was it a dream... did it really happen.. He had no possible explanation for it. He only felt complete from within and felt peaceful.. as if a thorn that had kept pricking his heart had finally been taken out.
His cell pinged, showing a new message in Whatsapp. The notification was from a new number. When he opened the message, his heart lifted and broke out into a huge smile.. The message was from none other than Kriti. It read..
"Hi!!! Kriti here... got your number from Rahul!! how have you been? I know it sounds ridiculous, but it feels like we met recently.. May be I dreamed about you.. Anyways... how r u buddy!"
With a song in his heart, Vansh typed ' I am perfectly fine now, Kriti...'
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