Dreams from the past

I started blogging in 2008. I created a blog-site of my own and started jotting down my thoughts.

Today, I was going through some of the blogs that I had started with. And I came across one titled - Things I Want To Do Before I Grow Old. 

I had almost forgotten about this blog, about the list of To-Do things that I had made. But what lifted my spirits is, unconsciously and without thinking about this list, I did do some of the things that I wanted to!

Well, there are some things pending. And some things that cannot be done now, I think. 

The list goes something like this:

1. Write a book. - I did! I wrote three books. And while they definitely won't come under 'Bestsellers', the satisfaction and happiness that came with publishing these books remains in the heart to this date. The first one was clearly an amateurish attempt but it gave me confidence to go ahead and paved the way for others. So, this is one task that I managed to do!

2. Visit the Himalayas. - Well, I almost did. Almost, because I went to Shimla and Manali, and saw the Himalayan Mountain Range from a distance. As good as going there, isn't it? Nah. Whom am I kidding?! A visit to the Himalayas will be something ethereal and mystical. I am immensely grateful that I could see the magnificent mountains and feel their magic. May be someday I will get to visit them from near. But until then, excuse me if I mark this task as 'Almost Achieved'!

3. Sit beside the pilot in the cockpit and watch the plane move through the clouds. - Sorry. This is something that I don't think I will be able to ever do. For starters, I don't have the required connections to be able to sit in the cockpit of the plane. Secondly, the last plane journey that I went through, put me off planes, like forever. The turbulence was unbearable and triggered a panic attack in me. I have never been this scared ever before! And I haven't set foot inside a plane again. I don't intend to. Which makes the 4th task really difficult to achieve.

4. Visit at least one foreign country. - Right. But how? Unless I can travel by road/rail? How many days would it take to reach the country? Will I have to sell my house to cover the expense? What will I return to, from the trip, if, in a perverse state of mind, I indeed sell my house? Nope. This task will now go under the list of Things I Better Forget About. 

5. Read as much as possible and learn as well! - Ah! My favourite! This is something that I am still doing. Am I reading? Am I! I read till everyone gets a headache just looking at me. And when I read about philosophy or spirituality or religion, I note down memorable points in my giant book that I have specially reserved for this. So I am learning too! Reading as well as learning. Because I can't survive without either of these. Because books are my lifeline, my escape from life, my coping mechanism to deal with the blows of life. 

6. Go on a cruise. - Pending. But someday I hope too. Water has always fascinated and terrified me. I am awed by its sheer power. Someday I would like to stand on a cruiser and watch a sunset. With dolphins playing around. And the sound of waves. And the cruiser slicing through the waters. Can't wait to do this!

7. Earn a five-digit salary. - Now, why I would write this one? Ah, I remember. I was working on a contract basis and was earning a four-digit figure. Eventually I did earn in five digits. It wasn't much, but it helped a lot. The main question is - did it make me happy? The answer, sadly, is No. Because it wasn't something I wanted to do. I did learn a lot. And I am grateful for the life-lessons learnt during that period of time.

I have always believed in focusing on the things that I am grateful for. And today, after reading my old blog, my gratitude-list has increased manifold. 

Dear Life, the only thing that I really ask of you now, is to constantly remind me to be grateful always. For where I am now. And for everything you have given me!