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Friday, July 2, 2010

A short trip to God...

It is said that you cannot visit Shirdi unless the Baba wills it. Probably He willed it for us, because one fine Saturday found us on the bus to Shirdi. The bus departed from my town at 9.30 in the night. It was one of my traveling fantasies come true. I had always longed to go on a long drive at night.

So there we were, me and my husband, sitting snugly in the A/c bus. We both were listening to songs. I listened to my favourite one, ‘Bekaraar’ from the movie ‘Paathshaala’. I kind of like its meaning, that, even though we try to forgot the past and learn to live, there is still some kind of restlessness in us.

The bus journey was comfortable (apart from the pathetic situation of a woman traveling with us who realized it very late that she was allergic to bus rides and spent the entire journey retching). We reached Shirdi at 4 in the morning. You can feel that you have arrived in Shirdi. There is something divine in the air. Baba has left the imprint of his divinity there. All local shops, inns, hotels are named after Sai. Sai Electricals, Hotel Sai Yatri, Hotel Sai Plaza, Hotel Sai Leela, Hotel Sai Gangotri…. Probably, the owners’ way of paying a tribute to their Source of livelihood.

We found the hotel packed in the morning. There were common fresh-rooms for those who didn’t want to rent rooms. However, even those were crowded. Hence we decided to rent a room. The manager hesitated when we asked the rates and then told us that it would cost us Rs.350 per hour. Baba, even your home is not free from loot and corruption… but it feels wrong to crib about giving money to your people. We realized that we were being looted, but still couldn’t voice the thought. We were in Shirdi, and every localite seemed to be belonging to Baba. We rented the room for just an hour and were informed that we can keep our bag in the hotel’s locker for free.

We refreshed ourselves within half-n-hour and went to keep our bag in the locker. We received another rude shock. We were not supposed to keep our mobiles in the bag. The hotel ‘didn’t want to take the responsibility’. We were then informed that we can keep our valuables in a shop near the temple. The hotel arranged a mini-van to transport us to the temple.

The van directly halted in front of a shop where we were promptly guided to remove our chappals and keep our mobiles inside a safe. While leaving, the shopkeeper thrust a basket of laddoos, sweets, coconut and a saffron-cloth and demanded that we pay Rs.171.

We realized too late that the best way to go to Shirdi is empty-handed, without any valuables or mobiles. Anyways we paid the shopkeeper and left for Darshan.

It was 5 in the morning and it was still dark. The temple has a beautiful garden in the entrance. We moved briskly to stand in the queue for Darshan. Being Sunday, there were many people in the line.

The best part of standing in a queue in Shirdi is, you keep on moving and hence do not feel tired of standing in the line. People shouted at regular intervals, ‘Sai Baba ki Jai’ and ‘Sainath Maharaj ki Jai’. For a minute, I felt a pang, seeing the faith-filled faces of the devotees standing in the line. I yearned for that childlike faith that these people seemed to be having. They reminded me of what I had lost and probably cannot gain. I was ordained to learn that we alone are creators of our destiny and the power to change the situation is in our hands. It was a comforting thought in the childhood that God will take care of our problems. Some wonderful, marvelous people do manage to stick to this, throughout their life. Weaker ones like me immediately lose this belief and become ‘practical’. Yes, it is a weakness to doubt, while holding on to faith is a mark of one’s strength.

Anyways, the line kept on moving slowly but continously. We climbed two floors and then, when we entered through a door, we saw the Baba at a distance, sitting serenely for His devotees. I raised my hands above my head in a namaste the moment I saw Him, I couldn’t help it. The line moved nearer and nearer to Baba. I forgot all thoughts, all prayers. I just stared hungrily into the most compassionate Face that I will ever see. He seemed to be saying, ‘I know, but I am there with you.’ It didn’t matter that I had nothing to ask from Him (I am ‘practical’, right?). I just folded my hands and continued gazing at Baba’s face. We could get his Darshan from a very close angle. Nothing seemed to matter there, in His presence. We took his Darshan as long as the harassed guards permitted us.

Then we came out of the room and headed for Dwarkamai, which has the stone where Baba always used to sit and which houses the sacred Dhuni which Baba ignited, that still burns today. There were other small temples inside, a Ganesh temple, Shiva’s temple and Shani Dev’s temple. We visited all these and came out of the temple at 07.30 in the morning, our minds and hearts fresh.

I felt the first pangs of hunger. We had puri-bhaji for breakfast and a cup of coffee. We returned back to our hotel to wait for our bus which was supposed to take us to Shingnapur before heading off to our home town. I was a bit apprehensive about going to Shingnapur. I had heard rumours about how Shani Dev punishes the sinful. People either fall in Shingnapur or some other ill befalls them, so I had heard. (You realize that some people hold fast to such beliefs rather than having faith in the goodness of God?) anyways, I was praying inwardly to Shani Dev to not to punish us (we all are sinners, no doubt of that!) My name was sure to be in the top of his list…

The bus left the hotel at 10. I prepared myself for another joyful long drive. The minute the bus started, I fell asleep. I woke up after 2 hours or so and groggily looked out of the bus to understand where we were. The scene drove out all sleep from me.

The bus was moving in a road surrounded on both sides by sugarcane fields. The leaves were dancing to a gentle breeze and the sky was exhibiting some of the most wonderful cloud formations I have ever seen. It was like a painting, only, much more beautiful. I looked out, hoping to catch a house without doors (the houses in Shingnapur do not have doors, such is the faith of the localites). I was disappointed to find very few houses without doors. Mostly the bus traveled through roads with fields beside them. It was a pleasant surprise to find that Shingnapur, mostly thought of as a dry village, showed much more greenery than we Mumbaites can expect or take.

Soon, too soon, we reached the temple. I got apprehensive again and silently prayed to Shani Dev before getting down from the bus. We were told to remove our chappals inside the bus itself. My husband Vishal and the other guys in the bus went to fresh rooms to bath and came out wearing saffron-colored cloths. It seems that women are not supposed to touch men after they bath. The rebel inside me woke up hearing this but I immediately settled down, for we were standing at the temple of the most ferocious and disciplinary lord in Hindu mythology. I wasn’t going to provoke Him!!!

We all marched towards the temple. The ground was boiling hot and we almost ran. When it became unbearable, I prayed to Shani Dev to give us strength. Was it my belief, or imagination or truth, I don’t know, but the moment I took his name, the heat from the ground became bearable. My feet would start stinging after some time due to the heat and when I thought about Shani Dev, there would be a definite decrease in the amount of heat and I could keep my legs in the ground for more than ten seconds! Was I becoming a believer?

We went inside the temple. The guys had a separate line for pouring oil into the deity. The deity of the temple, as I realized and saw after five minutes, was a three-foot stone shila of Shani Dev, mounted high on a pedestal in the middle of the temple. We ladies were not allowed to go near the deity. Only those men, who had bathed and who were wearing the saffron-coloured cloth were allowed to climb the pedestal, touch the deity and pour oil over the same.

The stone seemed to be remitting rays of strength, I could feel it. I stood as long as possible in the side and stared at it, feeling a sense of awe and mystery. My fear of the God left me completely. The stone seemed to symbolize power, steadfastness and discipline. I silently bowed in thanks to the God for getting rid of my fear. Never again am I going to fear going to Shingnapur.

We left the temple and had lunch at a Dhaba. It is best recommended that you carry some light snacks with you when you go to Shirdi and Shingnapur. The food is not up to the mark but we really cannot complain. All the localites have is faith and nothing else. They are poor basically, in monetary matters. Spiritually, they are the richest people you can hope to find in Maharashtra. Theirs is a faith, inherited over generations, passed on to every new generation living there. We ‘practical’ people, have literally no place there. We belong to the city where people have faith in all wrong persons or things. We believe that the train that we have boarded will safely deliver us to our office (‘I will reach in another fifteen minutes, don’t let the client go!’. We believe that those whom we vote will take care of the state. We believe our bosses that they will promote us and cater to their nonsensical whims and needs. It doesn’t occur to anyone for a second, to believe in a Power much more higher and stronger than these.

The drive back to home was the best route I have ever rode or seen. We passed through numerous fields and after a while, clouds started forming in the sky. There were narrow winding roads, small rivulets, coconut trees, banana trees and hills. There were even forests but to glimpse a wild animal would be too optimistic. The animals are safer in their haven and it is best for them to stay away from animals wilder than themselves who apparently kill for no reason at all.

The bus then entered Malshej Ghat, one of the prominent tourist locations in Maharashtra. The scenery is spell-binding. Clouds pass so low that they hide a major portion of the hill and at one point, our bus actually passed through clouds! It was amazing to see nothing but vapour around you. I hastily took as many snaps as possible with my cellphone. The snaps are a poor caricature to the original beautiful scenery that we saw. It was like we were in another world, free of civilization with nature at its best. There were no houses or people, only hills and clouds. There were several small waterfalls that made the scenery look too beautiful to be true. It was the most beautiful experience I ever had.

After a while, the hills started receding and there were definite marks of the city. Thinning trees, barren lands, cars and bikes honking continously, more buildings and less trees… it felt like we came back to earth after a wonderful time spent in heaven.

I still have not become a believer (It is hard to believe when you are living in a city – is my best defense for not having faith). But I learnt that God is there, and you see Him in whatever form you want. For me, though He may not be a wish-fulfilling God, He will always be the Source of my strength in difficult times. It is not necessary for Him to fulfill all my needs, it is enough that He be there with me always…