An Ode To Coffee!

I have always declared myself as a coffee-lover. For me, it is the panacea of all evils, this delicious hot-drink called coffee. It is the thing that I look forward to most, in the morning. It instantly brightens up my mood, and turns a bad day towards an adventurous one.

It all began somewhere in my teens, when I started preparing coffee for my father, who is another coffee-holic. Every time he told me to prepare coffee, I would end up preparing much more than what he wanted. So I would then partake the extra coffee. And thus began my love affair with this divine beverage.

Be it summer, rainy or winter season, I never could say 'No thanks' to coffee! In the noon of the scorching summer, I drank coffee. In the gloom of the rainy evening, I drank it. In the chilly misty morning of winter, I devoured it! I loved it with a passion. The aroma of the decoction prepared for filter coffee, the colour (somewhat a golden brown), and the kick, oh the kick! The stronger the coffee, the happier it made me!

I always inched more towards filter coffee. I still am partial to it. It is all the more special because of my grandma. She would roast coffee beans in the morning, grind them finely and use them to prepare the decoction. The aroma of roasted coffee beans cannot be described in words. Almost half of the people in my building would come to know that it was coffee-powder-making day in my house.

 After my grandma passed away, I started purchasing coffee powder from a South-Indian store. I would wait outside and chit-chat with the kind shop-owner while his assistant would grind the roasted coffee beans. The aroma brought in sweet memories of my grandma. (Come to think of it, it has been a while since I smelt this!) While I waited, the shop-owner would show me the new books arrived in the week and I would purchase copies of my favourite Twinkle and Gokulam (a delightful book for children that was very popular in those days; I am not sure whether it is still in circulation.) Of all the tasks I did, this was my favourite, purchasing coffee powder from this particular shop because it combined two of my loves - coffee and books!

No offence, but CCD pales in comparison to this. To be honest, I have visited few branches of CCD. And I hasten to clarify that I have found the coffee here to be absolutely delicious. Be it Cappuccino, Mochachillo, frappe or any of the numerous delicacies that CCD offers, I have loved each and every one of them. But for some reason, the simple filter coffee touches the heart like nothing else. May be because it has many special memories associated with it.

The best place to have coffee is obviously the south of India. Tamil Nadu takes the cream when it comes to coffee. It is something else when taken here. It becomes an unforgettable sensory experience, having coffee in the South.

And thus life went on, with five or more cups of coffee in a day.

Until one day, I took in some tea that was left-over after all my family members had it. For reasons unknown to me, I added some pepper powder and sugar in it. (Okay, truth - some pepper powder and lots of sugar!). And it felt - right. Not good, not delicious, but somehow it felt right.

Also, the constant knee pain demanded that I take in some calcium every day. So the second cup of coffee in the morning and in the evening was gradually replaced by Horlicks.  From five cups in a day, my coffee intake reduced to just two. Until I started drinking tea in the evenings.

And now, as on date, I just have one cup of coffee in a day. It feels unbelievable, it feels sad. But somehow, the health constraints replaced the cravings for coffee.

But this had made my bond with coffee all the more stronger. The first coffee of the day, which is also the only coffee for the whole day, has become all the more precious now. I savour the moment, I treasure the moment when I drink coffee in the morning. It has become the most anticipated moment of the day. I spend over ten minutes on the same, and these ten minutes are my personal mini-session of Spa For My Soul.

Dear Coffee, not to worry, because I still want to be known as a Coffee-holic, as a Coffee-Lover. And no matter how many beverages I drink, you will always be special! 

Musings of someone 'forty-ish'

Actually, there is still time to reach the magical figure 'when life starts'. But I can no longer deny that I am approaching my fortieth.

I guess I started land-marking my age when I reached my twentieth year. (Gosh, it seems so long ago!). I remember feeling dreadful that I was now twenty and no longer a teen. Of course, friends made it easier at that time. There was the feeling that I am young, at the prime of my life, and there is so much to do and achieve. So, twentieth birthday was fun, mainly because of friends.

I spent my thirtieth birthday in train. I was attending a dear cousin's wedding in Chennai and boarded the train from Mumbai on my thirtieth birthday. My aunt, sister, cousins and friends were travelling together for the first time and I remember feeling more excited about the trip than about the birthday. I remember when my husband surprised me at the station with a cake! He couldn't join me in the trip because of some official engagement. And I cut the cake at a crowded station, feeling slightly emotional. After all, thirty definitely felt very grown-up. When my ex-boss wished me through a message, I had written to her - Thanks Ma'am, but I turned thirty this year! Gone are the golden twenties!. Her reply was soothing - 'The thirties have a charm of their own!'.

Somehow I had expected some dread about reaching the fortieth. But all I feel is calm, and a deep sense of acceptance.

There are regrets, for sure. Looking back now, I wish I had worn those fashionable dresses which I so admired on others. Having come from a conservative household didn't allow room for much fashion. But what is worse is, I somehow convinced myself that those dresses aren't for me. It was a classic case of sour grapes. Now I see and have complete access to fashionable dresses, but somehow, the desire to wear them just disappeared with time.

While I am immensely grateful for my reading habit which began when I was about ten years old, I regret having realized late in life that I love writing too! I took up writing much later in life. And while I am not sure what kind of a writer I am, I know this much that writing an article gives me happiness.  I take a break every now and then from writing, but I just can't 'not write at all'!

I left my job when my kid turned one and we shifted to another city. It was supposed to be a temporary break, to help my kid settle down in the new place. Needless to say that five years have passed and the break progressed from temporary to permanent. The thought of working in an office again, starting as a fresher, facing office politics - it seems too overwhelming at this age. It is something that I can't go through again. So, while I am contented in the safety of my home, the need to be financially independent raises its head time and again and makes me regret the decision of leaving a job.

Also, I find that after a certain age, it is difficult to cultivate meaningful friendships. You can have acquaintances, neighbours, colleagues but friends? Nah. They are formed during the fun days of childhood, during the difficult yet enticing days of teenage. And the friends formed in these two important stages of life prove to be the real deal. In the not-so-new city, as I find myself with neighbours and acquaintances, I cant help missing my childhood friends who are still a part of my life, although the conversations are very rare now. The daily demanding routine of life leaves very less space for lengthy and delightful conversations with friends, and we slowly learnt to make do with the occasional message on whatsapp.

Life has been one roller-coaster ride. There are more things to be grateful for, than to regret.  And although the prospect of fortieth looms large in front of me, it doesn't scare me. Sure, that this fortieth will probably be spent at home, considering the dire situation around us. But still, it will be another welcome landmark of life.

Dear life, may be I didn't make my mark in the world as a memorable person. May be I didn't achieve or do anything great. But one thing I can say for sure is - I have lived you fully! Every moment of happiness, grief, excitement has been lived thoroughly and through. And while I am not sure of what the morrow may bring, I am grateful enough for whatever life has given me, till this present moment.