Kulkarni's Bucket-list

Write Tribe

It was proving to be a sheer torture to simply get up. But get up he did, and looked out of the window of the room. Morning had just set in, the light outside neither too bright nor dim, just about enough to herald the beginning of another day. At fifty years of age, Kulkarni was at the evening of his life. His battle of two years against cancer was at the last stage and he was on the losing side.

At this phase, it didn’t bother him. It had been tough for the first few months, him constantly waging a war against despair, panic and grief. But a death sentence was actually turning out to be a boon, as he realized. For it no longer worried him when he knew that his days on this earth were numbered, and every additional day he woke up seemed to be a bonus. There was no knowing which one would be his last day, so he lived every day to the fullest.

Of course, the grief set in now and then, bringing along with it a fear of the mysterious journey he would embark on soon. The evenings were the worst, for they often made him dull and sad. When sadness came, he embraced it, and surrendered to tears. They always brought relief, the tears. He felt them cleanse his soul and refresh him. Every night he went to sleep with the peace of knowing that nothing really was in his hands now.

Attending to his morning chores was not enjoyable any more, yet he managed to get everything done. He rang up the reception of the hotel and ordered breakfast for him. Yes, of course, he was staying in a hotel, because it was a thing mentioned in his bucket list, the new trend that apparently, terminally-ill people were following. They made a list of things they would like to do before kicking the bucket, and some definitely did it.

This bucket list was the brilliant idea of his son who insisted that Kulkarni should enjoy the last days of his life. They both had prepared the bucket list together, amidst lot of laughter and tears. Oh yes, his son was affected badly. One would think that a man in his thirties, having a family of his own, would have learnt to be strong by now, but no! The boy inside the man had cried pitifully, even more than Kulkarni had. It had tempted Kulkarni badly to long for a second innings. But all tests had been done and there really was no scope. It took a while for his son to accept this, but he seemed to be okay with it now.

Today Kulkarni was supposed to check out from the hotel and return home. He had stayed in the hotel for a week, enjoyed room service, had also attempted the swimming pool. His son regularly took updates from him. And by regularly, it meant hourly. Frankly, more than being humbled, it irritated Kulkarni to no extent. Well, today the torture would be over and he would be at his home, where his son could drop by whenever he wished to check on him.

After having breakfast, Kulkarni packed his meager suitcase and checked-out of the hotel, looking at it lovingly while leaving, for he knew that the chances were few that he would return back. He tipped the staff generously and gave a good feedback about the hotel. By the time his rental car came to pick him up, he was just about ready to hit the bed again. Yes, cancer tired the body and spirit very easily.

An hour later when he had reached home and rested for a while, he took out the bucket list to check the remaining items. He checked the items one by one.

1. Buy that expensive Ipad that I have been lusting after since a while. – Done.

2. Learn the basics of swimming. – Done.

3. Make peace with Shah (His building-member with whom he had had a life-long feud) – Done (with great difficulty, he added in the bracket for his son to check).

4. Watch atleast one season of IPL in a 40-inch Television (Done. Brought the TV, got a connection especially for this!)

5. Stay in a hotel for a week and pamper myself. Done

He came to the last item and did a double-take. Oh God, how could he do this one now? It simply read –

6. Go on a date.

He groaned loudly. Did I actually tell my son that I wished to go on a date? He looked at the picture of his late wife and shrugged guiltily. Sorry, I must not have been on a right state of mind that day. Don’t take it in the wrong way okay.

For a while, he sat miserably, wondering how to get the last item of his list done. Even if I agree to do this, whom would I take on a date with me? Unbidden, the image of Ms.Fernandes came to his mind, startling him. Oh, how did that happen?

Ms.Fernandes lived in his building on the floor below his. She was a widow and had lost her husband about two years ago. Ironical, Kulkarni thought sadly, that Mr.Fernandes died just about the same time when my own death sentence was pronounced! She was in her mid-fifties, having a tall and proud posture. She had a no-nonsense attitude that showed in all the meetings of the society. She had a strict demeanor and didn’t hesitate to show it. So, why would such a person come to my mind as a prospective candidate for a date, he thought in amusement. Because she has always been nice to you, always greeted you whenever you met her, his sub-conscious mind reminded him.

He looked at the bucket-list, he remembered his son’s tear-streaked face and eager expression while preparing the list and decided to complete it at any cost.

Fifteen minutes later, he rang the doorbell at Ms.Fernandes’ house. He tapped his pocket nervously to ensure the presence of the list. She opened the door with a surprised look.

“Oh it’s you Ramesh.” She remarked pleasantly. She always made it a point to address everyone by their first name.

“Umm.. may I come in? I need some help.” Kulkarni said nervously.

“Please do come in!” She made way for him and followed him to her living room. She sat in the sofa in front of him and waited expectantly for him to begin. He nervously cleared his throat.

“Ms.Fernandes, the thing is.. Well, I don’t know how I should say this. Wait a minute.” He took out the bucket list and gave it to her. She raised her eyebrows in amusement but didn’t comment and read the paper.

“I am on a bucket-list.” He said gravely. Her head shot up and he saw her expression change from disbelief to sympathy.

“What is it?”

“Cancer – last stage. Have been fighting since two years now but too tired to make it last anymore. I have no idea of how much time is left, but there is no scope for recovery.”

“I am really, really sorry to hear this. It has come as a shock for me.” She said simply but he was grateful for the sincerity in her tone.

“I get it. I am okay with it. The thing is, my son made this list for me. Told me that I should enjoy my remaining days. Well, I have done everything in the list except the last one which is – to go on a date. I know it sounds ridiculous and silly, but it is my son’s wish. So I want to do it at any cost. I just came to ask you whether..”

“I agree. I will go on a date with you.” She said with a slight smile, taking him aback. Wow, that was really quick and easy!

He gave her a relieved and happy smile. “I can’t tell you how happy you have made me and my son by agreeing to do this. I am really grateful to you. I hope you will take it in the right way. I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”

“Ramesh, let us cut down on the formalities. I am not embarrassed at all. I am older than you by three whole years.”

Which has made it a lot more embarrassing for me now! Kulkarni thought miserably. He managed to smile at her. A totally uncomfortably silence followed. He suddenly remembered to ask.

“Oh, you know what, I have no idea about what is expected of me for a date. What should I do?”

She bit back a smile at his confused expression. “For starters, bring some flowers. My Allan used to bring me red roses. You can bring yellow.” She said thoughtfully.

Right, yellow roses. “And.. .what else?”

Her strict expression returned. “Should I tell you everything? Did you never take your wife on a date, Ramesh?” She asked firmly while he winced under her stare.

“I took her to movies with my son. We had him early after our marriage, you know. Right after the first year. There really was no occasion for dates.”

“I see.” She nodded thoughtfully. “You should take me out for dinner at some good restaurant. Dress up nicely and wear shoes. I am really particular about the attire.” She finished in her stern tone.

All right teacher, he almost said but just smiled and nodded his head.

“So can we go tonight?” He asked her hopefully. When she raised her eyebrows in speculation, he quickly added. “This is difficult for me, so I want it to be over as soon as possible.”

She shook her head and laughed. “Just the thing that a lady wishes to hear from the person with whom she would be going on a date! All right then, tonight it is. Come here at sharp 7 pm with the flowers, okay.”

He left for his home, not sure about how he was feeling. It was exciting as well as terrifying too. At home, he ordered for some yellow roses from a nearby florist over the phone and lay on his bed. Suddenly a deep feeling of tiredness came over him. Oh no, not today please, let me complete the last item.. he secretly pleaded, to whom, he didn’t know. But it was as if his borrowed time was reminding him of his impending end. He willed with all his heart for the tiredness to pass away. Feeling defeated, he took his medicine and succumbed to sleep.

When he woke up, it was already 5 in the evening. He checked his phone but thankfully his son had not called. He rang up the florist to remind him about the delivery. He was feeling better after taking the medicine. He prepared a cup of coffee and took some biscuits with it. The doorbell rang. The yellow roses had come. He smiled. They were pretty indeed.

What should I wear for my date.. He stood in front of his wardrobe with his hands on his hips, feeling very excited after months of suffering and grief. At this moment, nothing bothered him, neither his terminal disease, nor his impending and inevitable death. Today he was living again just for the moment, a moment of pure happiness. 

Okay, why not? It is not as if I am going to wear this again. He took out his wedding-reception suit complete with the blazer and laid it down on the bed, admiring it. After a warm shower, he stood in front of the mirror, appraising himself. The blazer hung loosely around his shoulders, for he had lost lot of weight in the past two years. He was now totally bald (Thanks for nothing, blasted Chemo!!). But today his face looked bright and clear, without a trace of any tiredness. Not bad, not bad at all.. 

He gave himself one final appraisal and decided that he had done his best after all.

He made a reservation at a fine-dining hotel situated nearby. It was expensive but cozy and the food and service had earned good reviews. Satisfied with himself, he took the bouquet of yellow roses and checked the time. Five minutes were left for 7 p.m.

He remembered to wear his best shoes and left his house.

When she opened the door, she gave him a satisfied nod. “Punctual and well-dressed. I already like my date for the evening.” She smiled mischievously. She was dressed simply in a sober saree. He was touched that she had agreed to do this. He decided to make the evening enjoyable and memorable for her.

“Oh, these are for you.” He handed over the roses which she accepted with a sweet smile. They stared at each other for few uncomfortable seconds.

“Um.. shall we?” He gestured to the door and she took her purse after arranging the roses in a vase.

“I have booked a table for us at the fine-dining hotel. I hope you like it.” He said nervously as he got inside the rental car that he had called for.

“It’s fine. I have dined a few times there with Allan. It’s a good hotel.” She assured him and he gave a relieved sigh.

“You must miss Allan a lot.” He remarked. They were having a comfortable dinner at a table overlooking the busy road outside. The first few minutes had been really awkward but surprisingly, 

Ms.Fernandes initiated the conversation. From hobbies and likes-dislikes, they had moved to family matters and the places they had travelled.

“Oh yes, I miss him and how! When he passed away, I thought I won’t survive for a month without him. The month turned into year, year has turned into two years now… And here I am! Still alive and living life in the best possible way... It is amazing how time heals everything.”

He nodded gravely. “Time heals indeed. When my wife passed away, it was like a part of me died with her. But I couldn’t get any time to grieve properly, for my cancer made its presence felt just within few months of her death. It nullified every thought and emotion. It still does sometimes.”

She looked at him intently and he felt encouraged to go on. “The evenings are the worst. They make me dull, they remind me of my end, they make me question about what lays ahead. They scare me, the evenings.” He said in a low voice and sat back in his chair, his appetite slowly vanishing.

“I wish I could do something to help.” She said in a tone that spoke of sincerity, sorrow and regret.

“Oh but you already did, Ms.Fernandes. By spending an evening with this dying man, you have already spared him the moroseness of one evening. And I hope the memory of today will soothe me for the rest of the evenings that I may see.” He said with a slight smile.

She looked out for few seconds, seemingly lost in thought. He already regretted burdening her with his sorrows and spoiling their date.

“There is this new animation movie running in theatres that I wish to see. How about tomorrow evening? Can we go?” She asked without any hesitation and awkwardness and he was taken aback yet again, by her generous spirit and inner strength. He recovered himself and said with a chuckle. “I would love to, Ms.Fernandes. If I wake up tomorrow and make it till evening, then we are definitely on for our second date.”

“One must never lose hope, Ramesh.” She chided him in a stern voice.

He smiled affectionately at her. “My dear Ms.Fernandes, hope is just the thing that I cannot afford to have.” She brushed off his statement with a wave of her hand but he could see that she was affected by it. He cleared his throat. “So, any etiquette required while taking a lady to a movie?” He saw her laugh and just like that, the sad moment passed away, leaving only the anticipation of spending another day together.

They decided to walk back to the building. Kulkarni was feeling tired by now and started fantasizing about his warm and cozy bed. Ms.Fernandes walked casually beside him, her face not giving away anything.

“I can’t thank you enough for today, Ms.Fernandes.” He said sincerely when they reached her flat.

“It has been a pleasure, Ramesh. See you tomorrow for the movie?” It was both a question, and an affirmation and he felt a huge wave of sadness envelop him. “Sure. Good night.” She accepted his answer with a smile and waved to him as she got inside her flat.

He slowly made it to his flat and immediately sought out his bed the moment he went inside. He reached for his medicine and after popping it, he lay down, still dressed in his blazer suit. Thank you for another day, he said his usual daily affirmation. I hope you let me see tomorrow too. If I make it tomorrow, there will be another item in my bucket-list. Finally blessed sleep took over.

He did wake up the other day, and the first thing he did was – write on the bucket list.

7. Movie with Ms.Fernandes.

He had been living every day. Now he would start living as per every item on his bucket list.

Paralysis of the heart

Write Tribe

“Our fate lives within us; you only have to be brave enough to see.” - Brave

It was as if watching his life flash by in slow-motion. Om could see the truck approaching him at an impossibly high speed. But there was really nothing he could do to avoid his bike from colliding with the truck. He achieved a state of total blank at the time of collision, no thoughts, no feelings, no emotions… Just a state of total blank…

He lay suspended in a limbo, drifting in and out of consciousness. At times he saw and heard people, at other times, there was the feeling of Nothingness. Sometimes he felt the pain and sometimes the need to succumb to the deep sleep that his consciousness seemed to crave. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, ages – there was no awareness of time. Sleep was all that existed in the world.

And then that day he woke up. He looked around and realized that he was in a hospital. He didn’t feel any more pain. In fact, he realized that he couldn’t feel anything at all. He saw his parents gathered around him, their expression, a mixture of relief and grief. He smiled at them weakly and gave a thumbs-up sign. His mother visibly collapsed and sobbed while his father nodded his head and wiped his eyes at the sleeve of his shirt.

The doctor came to meet him. “How are you feeling, Om?”

“I can’t say. I am not feeling anything at all.” He replied with a chuckle.

The doctor’s expression did not give away anything.

“What day is it?” Om asked his parents, suddenly feeling a trace of anxiety, some sort of premonition.

When they told him, he looked at them in disbelief. Four days had passed since the accident, and it seemed that he had been drifting in and out all this while.

“What exactly happened? The last thing I remember is the awful collision.” He said, shuddering at the terrifying memory of the truck looming large in front of him.

“You escaped hitting your head, it seems. Your legs bore the brunt of the accident.” The doctor replied in a firm yet kind voice.

“Nothing irreparable, right?” Om asked with a sinking feeling in his heart.

“We will see. Can you get up?” The doctor asked him. When he nodded, the doctor approached him and held his hand to support him. It was good that the doctor had supported him, for the moment Om kept his legs down, he buckled and almost collapsed but the doctor controlled his fall. He helped him to lie on the bed again.

“Why did that happen?” This time, Om could not hide his panic.

“It pains me to say that your leg muscles were badly squashed in the accident. You cannot walk. For now, this is all that I can say. But the medical field has made enough breakthroughs and I can safely assure you that you can attempt some kind of treatment. There are many options. I can’t assure you that they will work. All I can say is, you are young, you have the benefit of age and good health, you should definitely attempt treatment.”

“Will I be able to walk again?” Om asked in a deadpan voice. His parents had now lost their composure and were crying. He couldn’t feel anything inside. It was as if his heart too were as paralyzed as his legs.

“I have seen cases like you attempt treatment and succeed. I have seen some cases fail too. Every human being responds differently to treatment. I cannot assure you of anything at this stage. All I can say is, if you do not attempt treatment, you are losing whatever chance you ever had of walking.”

Om nodded. Seeing that the doctor was waiting for his decision, he spoke in a low voice. “I need some time to think about this.”

The doctor looked at him as if he wanted to say something but refrained from making any remark. He got up and patted his shoulder. “Don’t give up. Have faith in yourself. That’s all I can say for now. Hope you take the right decision.” He spoke comfortingly to his parents and left the unit.

From that moment on, it could be said that Om operated on a robotic mode. He ate whatever his mother fed him, he took the prescribed medicines. He answered to whatever the doctor asked. He developed a routine for the day. But he never, ever, spoke about the treatment. In fact, he didn’t speak at all unless required. His parents broached the topic of treatment but he never answered them properly. It was as if he had already decided and accepted his fate.

Sometimes Om thought about why he hadn’t cried yet. He didn’t cry when he had to depend on strangers for his basic needs of the day. He didn’t cry at the first sight of his wheelchair. He embraced the humiliating feeling of being wheeled to his home, being lifted by people while getting inside the car and getting out. He accepted the startled glances that the people of his building gave to him when they saw him on the wheelchair.

He lost all idea of time. He had no idea about what day it was. He lounged on his bed and stared at the ceiling most of the times. When sleep came, he succumbed to it eagerly as it brought some respite. Waking up was tough these days as it usually came with the stark realization of his condition. And yet the tears never came.

It was another day and he had carried on his routine when the bell rang. He had strictly forbidden his parents from imposing any visitors on him as he didn’t want to see anybody. He heard his mother sobbing in the hall-room and shook his head. His mother was taking this worse than him. And that’s why he didn’t want any visitors. They seemed to make her cry harder, rather than comfort her.

The door of his room opened and he gasped. There stood Ajinkya, his childhood friend, his best friend, his brother from another mother, the other part of his soul. He couldn’t believe it. Ajinkya was settled abroad and yet, here he was, reaching out to Om at his time of need. Ajinkya had his arm around Om’s mother’s shoulders, comforting her as she sobbed her heart out at seeing him.

“Aunty, can I talk to him alone for some time?” Ajinkya softly asked her and she nodded, wiping her eyes.

“You better make my favourite lunch. I am going to stay for a while.” He said with a slight smile and she smiled back at him. It seemed like her first smile since the day of the accident.

Ajinkya came inside and closed the door softly. As he approached the bed, Om saw his face. There was sorrow in it, but more than that, there was anger, deep-rooted anger that flashed from his eyes. And then Ajinkya did the unbelievable.

As he stood in front of Om, he punched Om on his shoulder really hard with his fist. Om held out a hand at his shoulder to repress the pain. And then the dam broke. Om burst into heavy sobs, his whole thin body shaking with the weight of his grief. Ajinkya sat down on the bed and hugged him. 

Om hugged him back but could not stop sobbing. They sat like that for a long, long while.

“When did you return?” Om withdrew back from the hug and asked in a hollow voice, once his stock of tears was exhausted.

Ajinkya wiped his eyes and said. “What do you think? I came here directly from the airport, you idiot. Did you think that I would do some sightseeing before dropping by to see you?”

Om gestured to his legs. “Gone, man. They are gone forever.” He said with a laugh that bordered on the edge of a sob.

“So it is as I feared. You gave up.” Om shrugged his shoulders at Ajinkya’s comment.

“Come with me, I am taking you to the beach.” Ajinkya got up from the bed.

“Na, I am very comfortable here.” Om said, laughing at his own sad joke. It was as if Ajinkya had brought back everything, his laughter, his tears, emotions and feelings.

“I am not asking you, I am telling you that we are going to the beach. Just climb onto your wheelie and oblige me.”

“Some arrogant fellows never change.” Om said with a chuckle. “Wheelie? That’s quite a cute name for a sinister-looking object, isn’t it?”

“Are you coming or not?” Ajinkya said in an irritated yet amused voice.

“All right…” Om said and began the tedious procedure of getting down from his bed onto his wheelchair. Ajinkya, very subdued now, helped him and wheeled him out of his home and his building. Om’s parents saw him go with wonder and hope in their face.

Almost ten minutes later they were at the beach. It was noon, yet the sun wasn’t harsh. Some people were sitting on the sand and chatting. Some were just strolling. The waves frolicked happily, crashing and foaming in their own beautiful world.

Silently, Ajinkya opened a bag and took out a pair of shoes. He kept them beneath Om’s wheelchair.

Om looked at him sadly.

“I am giving you hope, Om. That some day, you will get to wear these shoes, walk, jog, run, dance… although, you are a terrible dancer, I have to say this.” Ajinkya said with a light smile, trying to turn a serious moment into something lighter and casual.

Om smiled back but his smile didn’t reach his eyes. “I don’t think so.”

“Oh, and why is that? What would you lose if you go for the treatment? If it is a financial issue, then tell me. I will arrange for your treatment totally at my expense. You don’t have to worry about that.”

“Oooh… Mr.Moneybags has suddenly stepped in.” Om said in a mocking tone but he was touched by Ajinkya’s offer. “It is not a financial issue. I know I can’t go through the procedure of building up my hopes, only to have them dashed again. I have accepted my fate and I am okay with it.”

There was finality in his tone that would have stopped any other person from responding back. But Ajinkya was not just another person, he was Om’s soul-mate, equally adamant and determined. He refused to let go of the issue.

“Do you remember the movie Brave that we saw before I left the country? There was this line that captivated both of us. We even remarked that animation movies are the best solely because they give such thought-provoking quotes.” Ajinkya said, looking at Om expectantly.

Om recalled the movie and the quote. When he spoke it out aloud, he was joined by Ajinkya too. “Our fate lives within us; you only have to be brave enough to see.”

There was silence for few minutes. Then Ajinkya spoke softly. “Are you brave enough to see it, Om? Do you see what you are doing? To avoid the risk of heart-break, you are letting go of the chance for recovery and happiness. Don’t do this, Om. Go for the treatment. You owe this to yourself, you owe this to your family and you owe this to me as well. I can’t tell you how painful it is for me to see you so. For my sake, for the sake of your family, please take up some treatment.”

Om gulped. “What if it doesn’t work?” He asked in a low voice laced with sorrow and despair.

“What if it works, man? Do your best and leave it then. You would atleast have the satisfaction of having tried your best. Please agree, please say you will go for the treatment.” Ajinkya pleaded with folded hands which Om immediately caught between his hands and gripped them tightly.

“Will you be with me for the treatment? Atleast stay for the first few days. Until I get used to it.” Om said in a quivering voice and Ajinkya bowed his head in relief.

“Of course, idiot. I am here for two whole months. I will extend if required. You just get onto the road for recovery, my friend. I will be there with you.” He said eagerly.

“You always get your way with me, you stubborn, arrogant brute. I knew when I saw you that it would end up like this.” Om said, laughingly wiping his tears while Ajinkya did the same.

“It’s not the end. It is the beginning of the road to recovery. And we are going to travel together.” Ajinkya draped his hand around Om’s shoulders and smiled.

Om smiled back. All was starting to look well in his world again.

The Solo-trip that wasn't exactly 'Solo'!!!

Write Tribe

She tapped her fingers on the wheel lightly, enjoying the soft music playing in her car and the long drive that she had embarked upon. This was the second day of her week-long solo trip. She still couldn’t believe that she was finally living one of her most avid fantasies – travelling alone without a plan and just going with the flow. Yesterday evening she had picked up a random hotel (albeit a decent looking one) and had stayed there. Today morning, after a sumptuous breakfast, she had checked out and left for the highway again without a plan. It was adventurous, it was thrilling, it was all she had ever wanted to do. The car she had rented was perfect and till now everything was going really smooth.

But it hadn’t come easily for her. She had had a hard time convincing her parents to let her travel alone. Their concern for her safety was valid and really touching, but her wanderlust was like an itch that just begged to be scratched and she could not ignore it any more. After a lot of arguments and pleading, she had finally convinced them (I-will-call-you-every-hour-and-give-updates had really worked like a charm!).

The highway stretched ahead of her endlessly with the occasional drive-in and a few automotive-repair shops. She had been driving for an hour now and enjoyed the monotony of the road ahead. It was mesmerizing to drive, like a video game that one could keep on playing. It was a hot day and the sun was blazing, casting a yellow glare on the world. She decided to stop at the next drive-in to buy food and water.

She drove for almost half-n-hour till she found another drive-in at a small junction that was just off the highway. There were few vehicles parked and she could park hers very comfortably. After refreshing herself, she ordered some French-fries and a bottle of water. She waited at the counter and saw the activity around her. Few tables were occupied by families. There was a relaxed chatter and the atmosphere was homely.

Ten minutes later, she left the drive-in with the parcel in her hand and walked towards her car. She saw that the trunk of the car was slightly open. She frowned, trying to remember whether she had opened it. She was sure that the trunk had been totally ignored by her ever since she rented the car. Shrugging her shoulders, she closed the top and got inside the car. After eating the fries, she started for the rest of her drive.

About twenty minutes later, she heard a soft thump! She felt the first wave of anxiety of her trip. You can’t decide to go flat on me, here, where I can’t see a single shop! She thought in despair and willed for the tire to carry on for some more time till she could find help. To her relief, the car kept moving on. I must have imagined it. She thought, feeling silly.

The second time though, she heard the sound clearly and without a mistake. She halted at one side of the road and got down from the car, checking every tire. As she came to the back of the car, she heard the sound again. It was coming from the trunk. It seemed like someone was making the sound from inside the trunk. In another words, someone wanted her to open the trunk and let them out.

She looked around and found that she was alone on the road. The drive-in seemed too far for anyone to come to help. She felt her palms sweat and her heart palpitate. Her breath came in short gasps. So much for the blasted fantasy of a solo-travel! She jolted at the sound of another thump and wiped her palms on her clothes. Here goes nothing, she thought and with shaking fingers, she opened the top only to find a boy – presumably in his early teens, eagerly straighten up and climb out. He gave her a sheepish smile showing crooked teeth. She heaved a sigh of relief. Surely this kid, with the adorable crooked-teeth smile and the lean frame can’t be dangerous!

She didn’t smile back at him. Instead she glared at the kid for some time before she asked him. “Care to explain?”

He ran his hand at the back of his head before he replied guiltily. “Sorry, I wanted a ride.”

“And you decided that the best way to do that is to get into somebody’s car-trunk?” She asked him incredulously.

“Look, I get it. Can you just drop me a little further where I can get another vehicle? This road is starkly empty. If you leave me here, I don’t know whether I would get any other ride. I promise, at the next junction, I will leave if I get another vehicle.”

Well-played kid, well-played…. She thought drily. She obviously couldn’t leave him here. But she wasn’t going to let him off easily too.

“Get inside. Sit in the front beside me and tell me your story. I will decide what to do about you then.” She said in her strictest voice but soon lost it when the boy again gave his innocent-crooked-teeth smile in relief.

They got inside the car and she took in the small travel-bag that the kid was holding. She started the car and rode in silence for few minutes.

“Spill it. Why are you here?” She said, not taking her eyes off the road ahead.

“My dad operates the drive-in. Business is good, the flow of money is constant. My dad – he constantly wars with me. Nothing that I do is right. He has something to advise me about always. I am really fed up now. I just want to live freely, just the way I want to.” He finished petulantly and she was filled with a mixture of compassion, appreciation and amusement.

“What’s in the bag?”

“The money that I earned through tips… I have been saving since two years. I want to go to the next city. Once I reach there, I intend to work in some hotel and study too. I have enough to take care of my studies for the first year. I guess once I start working I will earn and keep up my studies.”

“Where will you live?”

There was a pause as he thought about it. “I don’t know. I have not thought about it. But I will manage.”

“What about your parents? They will go mad with worry and concern.”

“My mother died about five years ago. I don’t have any siblings. My father – he has always been aloof. He just does his duties and retires at the end of the day. It won’t matter to him whether I am there or not.” There was a slight edge to his tone as he said this. After few seconds, he added. “Of course, I will call up the drive-in after I reach the city and inform him not to worry. That will do, won’t it?” He asked, his confident façade slipping for the first time and a tone of uncertainty shadowing his voice.

“I guess. But it is wrong to run away like this. What if he files a police complaint?” This time she too felt nervous. Would they know that he was in her car?

“I will ring him up as soon as possible. I don’t think he will file a police complaint.” The boy was sounding more and more confused by now. She smiled secretly. She just knew what to say further.

“So you are an only kid. Does your dad have any other relatives around to help him in your absence?”

“No. Just the co-workers and other staff.” The kid said in a really low voice.

She stopped the car. “Have we reached the junction already?” The kid asked in panic.

“No. But I want to ensure – are you having second thoughts?”

The kid didn’t reply but looked in the direction from where they had come. There was a sadness in his gaze and she could detect slight fear in his eyes. For the first time since they had met, he was acting his age and she felt a sense of compassion and responsibility towards him.

“You know, I can drop you back at the drive-in. I really don’t mind driving all the way back. I know it sounds very adventurous – eloping from home, living in a new city, working and studying side-by-side… but it is not easy. What if you don’t get a job immediately there? Do you have enough to sustain yourself?” She asked gently.

The kid stared back at her in confusion. He said after a while. “But I am constantly at logger-heads with my dad here. I am not happy.”

“Why don’t you let me talk to your dad?”

He seemed unsure but nodded his head. With relief, she turned the car the other way round and drove back to the drive-in.

It took her twenty minutes to reach there. All the time, the boy nervously fidgeted in his seat, sometimes adjusting the buttons on his shirt, other times, trying to smooth the crease in his jeans... He hardly sat still for a minute. She smiled in amusement.

As she reached the parking lot, she saw people gathered outside the drive-in. She could easily make out the boy’s dad who looked considerably worried and scared.

“Oh no!” The kid muttered beside her and she laid a comforting hand on his shoulder and shook her head. “Don’t be scared. Come.” She got down from the car and the kid got down from his side.

The moment, his dad saw him, his expression changed from concern and worry to relief and sorrow. His eyes filled up and he shook his head muttering something under his breath.

She put a hand over the kid’s shoulder and ushered him near the entrance where his dad was standing.

“I can explain. He was hiding in the trunk of my car and said he wanted to..” She began slowly but the dad cut her off mid-speech by raising his palm in a stopping gesture. He had eyes only for his son and approached him carefully as if scared that he would run away again. When he stood near his son, he looked at him for a long while, a myriad of expressions floating on his face – grief, sorrow, relief and a slight tinge of anger.

“What did you want?” Asked the dad gruffly.

“I – I just want to live freely, dad, the way you do. I want to live on my own terms, take my own decisions, live my life just the way I want to, without you making me feel wrong about everything I do.” The boy replied in a low voice, not meeting the dad’s gaze.

For a few seconds, nobody spoke and she felt that she should say something but the dad again beat her to it.

“Agreed. But I want a promise from you.”

The kid couldn’t hide his surprise and happiness and eagerly said. “Anything you say, dad!”

“Promise me, that you will never do this again. You almost ran away and gave me the scare of my life. You are my only family now. I have already lost my wife. I can’t lose you too.” The dad’s voice broke at the end and he struggled to compose himself.

The kid rushed forward and hugged his dad with a muffled ‘Sorry!’. With an awkward pat, the dad slowly withdrew himself from the hug and draped his arm around his son. Looking at her, he nodded his head and said. “Thanks a lot. I owe you big time.”

Feeling ridiculously emotional she smiled in acknowledgement, the lump in her throat not allowing her to speak. She ruffled the boy’s hair affectionately and waved good-bye to both dad and son.

After half-n-hour she reached a junction and smiled, thinking about the boy. She slowly approached a shop and asked the shopkeeper. “Which way leads to the next city?” She was geared up for the rest of her adventure.  

The Prison Within

Write Tribe

"The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it." - The Lion King.

Now-a-days, just reaching home in the evening after a hard day’s work, seemed like a precious luxury. He felt a deep sense of satisfaction at having lived a good day. There was a time when evening would bring in more depression and he would seek the bottle desperately. After finishing the bottle, he would lay semi-conscious at his flat, with no one around to help him or to fight with him.

Mohit shuddered at the memory. He didn’t want to visit those days ever again.

The door to his house was open and he walked in. As if by habit, he searched for his daughter Rhea. He couldn’t believe she was seven years old already. The first two years had passed by in bliss. When she was three years old, he had started hitting the bottle, seeking solace from it when he lost his job. His wife Isha had tried to help him morally. She had begged, pleaded and threatened him to give up his drinking habit. He had not listened to her.

From then on the downfall had started. She waited patiently with him for two years – two years of drinking orgies, fights, tears, depression and what not. In sheer desperation, she had handed him a visiting card of someone from a rehabilitation centre and left his home with his daughter. That had been the hardest day of his life and hers too. He remembered her breaking down while leaving. He remembered her saying, ‘I will be back when you will be back, Mohit. I will wait for you to call me.’

When she left with his daughter, he had died a little inside.He shook his head forcibly. Why were all those painful memories bothering him today?

“Papa!” His daughter came running to him and he smiled at her, though he didn’t hug her or pick her up. He maintained a distance from her now. It was painful when he had been separated from her for two years. He couldn’t afford the same pain again. So he stayed aloof though he didn’t like it.

“How was your school today?” He asked her gently as he sat down on the sofa and she came to sit beside him, looking at him with wide expectant eyes and a sweet smile on her face. She showed him a picture. It was a rose, and she had coloured it neatly.

“You did it? It is beautiful.” He said, taking the paper on his hand and looking at it closely.

“Hi.” Isha came from the kitchen, smiling at him. He waved and smiled back at her.

“Rhea, your books are lying on the dining table. How many times have I told you to not to write there? Please keep them in your room.” Isha chided her gently.

“It is comfortable for me to sit and write at the dining table, Mamma. Otherwise, my back hurts.” She said innocently.

“What happened to your old study table?” He asked her.

“One of its legs came off, Pappa.”

He nodded his head but didn’t say anything. The girl got down from the sofa and left for the room.

“Go freshen up. Dinner is ready.” Isha said to him and left for the kitchen.

They were seated at the dining table, having dinner. Rhea constantly kept up the conversation at the table. Hearing her speak about her day at school soothed him. These were just normal pleasures of life that he had missed for almost three years. It was during these times that he felt grateful to Isha. He had indeed acted on her ultimatum and joined the rehab centre. He had struggled for three years, fighting with his addiction and temptation. Only after he was pronounced totally fit, and he had stayed dry for six months at a stretch, had he contacted Isha. It had taken just a phone call and she had returned on the next day with their daughter. It was as if nothing had changed. But everything had changed for him.

“Pappa, there is a parent-teacher meeting this weekend at my school. Every time Mamma comes. Will you come this time?” Out of the blue Rhea threw this question at him. He stopped eating and looked uncomfortably at Isha who was gauging his reaction.

“Hmm.. I have some work to do this weekend. Please take your Mamma with you. May be next time I will come.” He said uncertainly.

“You always say this but you never come to the meeting. My friends ask me why.” Rhea sounded on the edge of tears and Isha could see the beginning of a tantrum.

“Rhea, sweetheart, this time I will come for the meeting. We both will drag Pappa for the next meeting for sure, okay?” She said to the child in a pacifying tone. Rhea wiped a tear and resumed eating.

Mohit looked down on the plate but didn’t eat anything. He had lost his appetite.

The next weekend, when Rhea and Isha returned from the meeting, Mohit had a surprise for them. He had been working on the surprise since four days in his friend’s garage which he used often as his work-shop. He had been coming late from work, going directly to the workshop from his office and finishing his pet project.

Rhea screamed with joy when she saw the beautiful study table and chair that Mohit had made for her out of wood. There was a small circular dent in the table to keep her water-bottle, a drawer for keeping her books and a chair with a stylish back to it.  He smiled, taking in the child’s happiness.

“You like it?” He asked her softly, gesturing her to sit on the chair.

“It is perfect! And so comfortable too! I don’t have to bend a lot while writing now. And I can keep my water bottle here. And..” Mohit beamed with happiness as he heard Rhea go on about all the things that she could do there. He was on cloud nine, having compensated for the grief he had given to Rhea by not attending the meeting.

The child came running to him and hugged him hard. “Thank you Pappa!” He didn’t return the hug. He patted her head awkwardly and said. “Welcome.” She let go of him and looked at him with bright shining eyes. He saw love and respect for him in those eyes. He ruffled her hair and smiled.

In the evening, he peeked into her room and saw her sitting on the study chair and doing her homework. From time to time she ran her hand over the smooth finish of the table and smiled happily. He felt a deep sense of contentment and satisfaction. Rhea’s happiness was his happiness.

“You have given her a beautiful gift.” Isha said to him when she saw him return from Rhea’s room. He sat beside her on the sofa in the living room and smiled shyly.

“You could have brought a new set for her. It must have been hard, creating that wonderful table and chair.” She said with admiration in her voice.

He shrugged. “It wouldn’t have been the same if I had brought a new set. This feels more satisfying.”

He felt her eyes on him and turned to look at her. “What?”

She sighed. “How long will you hold yourself back, Mohit?”

“I don’t understand.”

“You obviously love her. You go out of your way to make her happy. And yet you stay away from her physically and emotionally. Why are you doing this?”

Mohit stared at the floor for sometime before answering. “I guess I still feel impure. It is as if the drinks have stained my soul too. You have seen me at my worst and stood beside me. There is no hiding from you. But Rhea – she was too young to realize what I was. Now she sees that side of me which I show to her. But there has been a part of me that was disgusting. It prevents me from getting attached to her. When you both left, it hurt me deeply.”

“I left because…”

“No, I understand. I don’t blame you. You have tolerated my antics a lot. I have no complaints. It’s just that, I can’t get hurt the same way. I almost lost you both. I can’t afford to lose you again. I am happy that you both are here now with me. But I am afraid to hope too much. I only want to keep you happy, that’s all.”

Isha gulped. It pained her severely to hear this from Mohit. “You are not the same person now. You have changed. You have become a responsible father and husband. We both love you for what you are. Please don’t keep yourself away from us.” Her voice quivered at the end and Mohit shifted close to her to drape his arm around her shoulder.

“What if I fail her, Isha? She looks at me as if I am a champion. What if I destroy her belief?” He asked in a voice laced with grief.

“You won’t. You are the best father in the world, as far as Rhea is concerned. And the best husband too.” She said fiercely, wanting to project her confidence to  him.

He didn’t say anything. He just squeezed her shoulders gently.

It was bed-time and Rhea was watching some songs on Isha’s mobile. Mohit entered the room and sat down beside her on the bed. She looked at him and smiled.

“Would you like me to read a story? I have brought this book for you.” He showed her the story-book.

“Wow, I love stories! Please do read it, Pappa.” She eagerly kept away the mobile and sat beside him.

“Once upon a time…” He began to read slowly. As he went on reading, Rhea shifted and rested her head on his arm. Isha entered the room and saw her daughter trying to get close to Mohit. She watched in silence, waiting for Mohit’s reaction.

He paused reading and fell quiet for few seconds. Then clearing his throat, he lifted up his arm so that Rhea could snuggle up to him. Then he held her close to him and resumed reading.

She sighed in contentment. Her Mohit was now embarking on another road to healing and recovery. 

Himalayan Diaries

Day 1 - Chandigarh to Shimla

My first aerial view of Chandigarh - cluster of houses packed together but neatly in squares... It was a sight to see! And then the air hostess announced - Chandigarh is a defence airport and hence photos are strictly prohibited... Well, didn't know that!

The airport is sparkling clean... It seemed a sin to not to take any snaps of something so good... My hands itched for my loyal mobile and then I saw a military guy walking purposefully toward me... 'Hey, just a thought, I didn't take any snap!' My mind shouted and then I watched him pass by me and breathed out a sigh of relief.

We met our driver - a Jatt from Delhi with excellent command over Hindi... Even when he swears at other drivers it feels very decent and respectful... He has good ambitions... Has been driving since 23 years and now wishes to buy a car of his own and start his own travel service... He says confidently to us, 'Next year, U will take a package only from me, I assure U. I will show U the entire Himachal in my own car. ' His confidence is impressive and we hope he succeeds in his plan.

I have come to believe that every place has a phrase associated with it. For eg...

After staying in Mumbai for three decades, the phrase that now comes to my mind when I think about it is - Peace amidst chaos. I have been staying in Hyderabad since three years and I would say that Hyderabad signifies - Growth amidst impermanence.. Half of the city is occupied by people from other cities staying there on rental basis. And yet, the city is witnessing tremendous growth at an alarming rate.

One hour in Chandigarh and the phrase that popped in my mind is - Big, Bigger and Biggest! People are of a big stature (even school-going kids are sturdy!). The roads are broad, the vehicles are mostly large trucks and to my amazement, even the animals seem bigger there ( I honestly haven't seen such huge and hefty cows!).

It is a pleasure to see a typical Punjabi with a tightly woven proud turban on his head, long beard, formal pants and shirt and a sleeveless sweater worn on top of the shirt. U almost feel that anytime the good old guy will approach U and tell U to save your hard-earned money in RD or FD. Or it feels like meeting that favourite neighbour uncle who always takes your side against your parents. It is a comforting sight to see these people.

As we entered the Himalayan Expressway, I got my first view of HP. Mountain on my left side, a deep valley on the right and large mountains at the far end of the valley. The expressway is more of a long series of S-bends that see a continuous procession of vehicles to and fro. As far as the drivers of these vehicles are concerned, heights don't matter at all while driving. Our driver, like all drivers, speeded like he was driving in any other highway - so what if it was the Himalayan Expressway? Doesn't matter, highway is highway!

The phrase that comes to my mind while thinking about HP is - Nature, untouched but not wild.( Well, almost untouched - the mountains won't agree with me. They are being chipped every day to extend the expressway). There is a gentleness to the imposing mountains and valleys. Time seems to have slowed down here. Except for the drivers, no one really seems to be in a hurry. Life goes on, on an unhurried and leisurely pace.

We stopped at a small stall to have some coffee. I stepped down from the car gleefully and then just stared around in disbelief as the first wave of cold mountain air struck me. Unbelievable! We rushed into the stall and the kind lady who was the owner of the stall immediately closed the door. The feeling of warmth was precious!

After a cup of hot coffee and steaming Maggie noodles, we rushed back into our car which felt warmer compared to the ruthless cold weather outside. After two more hours of driving, we reached our hotel in the evening.

And that's where we are now, shivering uncontrollably as the temperatures plummet to zero degree as the night progresses. The cold weather aside, I get the familiar exhilarating feeling of being in a new place and can't wait to explore the mystical land called Shimla!

Day 2 - The freezer called Kufri

We woke up to a glorious morning and stepped out of our room into the balcony. At first we saw only the big brown mountain facing us. Another view showed us snow-capped peaks behind the mountain. With a gasp, I realised that we were seeing the great Himalayas for the first ever time in our lives! I stared at the peaks in wonder and amazement. It felt like the culmination of the dream of a lifetime. Unbidden, Lord Krishna's assertion in the Bhagwad Gita comes into my mind - Among the mountains, I am the mighty Himalayas. What a feeling to see that which has been in existence probably before Time or History began!!!

We dared to take a walk around the hotel premises and found life-giving, heart-and-body warming sunlight!! We couldn't soak it enough... It lifted our hearts and spirits and we went to our rooms with a renewed sense of joy.

Today we had planned an excursion to Kufri which promised a grander view of the Himalayas. We proceeded outside our hotel room sans our winter wear, blissfully soaking in the warmth of the kind Sun that shines here.

Kufri isn't very far from our hotel and within half an hour we reached there. We got down from our car and something told us that it would be better to take the bag of our winter clothes with us(Just in case, you know).

As we slowly climbed down the lane in Kufri, a wave of harsh, cold air attacked us. It seems like this place doesn't get much sunlight(a large mountain looming on the east and a valley in the west, beyond which lie the magnificent Himalayas). Then began the uncontrollable shivering.. We hastily donned our winter clothes but they were no match for the freezer called Kufri. It took sheer effort to keep walking and climbing down the lane.

The only thing that made us forget the freezing weather, was the vista that lay in front of us. A deep beautiful valley and the Himalayas clearly visible... ( I secretly thought, well, that explains the unbelievably cold air!).

My words cannot describe the stunning view or the weather there. As they say, see it, feel it, to believe it!)

Kufri is a photographer's delight. We can keep clicking on snaps but they won't do any justice to the real picture. Having mixed feelings about this place - I would like to go there again and again simply to see the Himalayas but never, ever want to feel as cold as I felt there. Bone-chilling, heart-thawing cold - as if there were no sun there!

There is another peak in Kufri which is accessible only by horse-ride. I bravely agreed to attempt horse-riding for the first time in my life and left with my husband and kid towards the lane where the horses stood.The guys brought our horses - one look at the stallion and my confidence crumbled. I shook my head quietly and left from the place with my kid while my husband climbed on a horse and went to the peak. Well, that's something pending for the next time!

It was late afternoon as we left from Kufri. And hunger started showing its pangs. Our driver said he would find a 'first-class' hotel for us to have lunch. After some time he stopped in front of a small roadside hotel(which, I believe, has seen better days). Well, something is better than nothing, I thought miserably and hoped that we would find something decent to eat.

We bravely order a 'Deluxe Thali', keeping our fingers crossed. It turned out to be large enough but not overly stacked with lots of food. There were two hot rotis, one curry, an adequate amount of rice and steaming daal-fry.

Needless to say, the food was DELICIOUS. Everything was sufficient yet limited. The service was quick and to the point. As we barely glanced from our plate, devouring it hungrily, we heard the light-hearted banter of the people there. 'Arre jara achi si khadak ek chai pila de year... ' discussions about every day life.... It made us feel very humble and content as we acknowledged the feeling of having come to a town frozen in time - a good time...

After a sumptuous lunch we left for a view point called Naldehra which has a golf course and promised stunning views of beautiful small villages nestled among the hills. But again, it was accessible only by horse-ride. We felt bad to see that this place had very few visitors compared to the horse-riding range in Kufri though the views were much more beautiful here. We opted to enjoy the views from the viewpoint. After a brief photo session, we got inside the car and returned to our hotel. We braced ourself for the cold wave as soon as we got down. There is one thing that Shimla has taught me - if u are not its native, u can never brace yourself enough for it's cold weather.

Shivering and laughing uncontrollably we walked towards the lawn of the hotel which has a small play area for kids. As our boy played in swings and slides and I was shivering embarrassingly and uncontrollably, my husband showed a snap which I found difficult to see or comprehend.

In a ground in the backside of our hotel, some guys were playing volleyball - just dressed in normal casual clothes and no sweaters or mufflers or caps! At first, my uncontrollably-shivering ego took on a massive hit. But then I pacified it saying - These are not normal people. Either they are aliens in the disguise of human beings, or they have truly become Yogis - unaffected by anything!!

As I write this from the warmth of my room (cosily warmed by the heater) my husband shows the current temperature to me. 4 degrees , and I am dreading the impending visit to the dining hall of the hotel for our dinner.

Tomorrow we bid adieu to Shimla and are bound for Manali (which, by what the locals say, is a colder freezer than Kufri!). I am reminding myself of my desire of travelling to new places and trying to ignore the dread of going into another freezing place!

Day 3 - Shimla to Manali

We left our hotel at 9.30 in the morning and proceeded towards Manali. On the drive, we could see the Himalayan range from far. I felt a sense of loss and kept seeing the snow-capped peaks as long as I could. Someday or may be in some other lifetime, I hope I can see the mountains from as near as possible.

The first thing that made the drive eventful was a mini-traffic jam caused by - mass exodus of goats! It was a funny sight to see vehicles like Desire, Etios, I20 wait patiently to make way for the goats who took their own sweet time to pass the road. There were almost hundreds of them and they seemed to mock us as they proceeded ahead and we waited patiently.

Today being Monday, we saw kids in uniforms walking towards the bus stop which seemed way too far to walk for city-bred weaklings like us. The kids walked up the hill with the ease of years of walking. We learnt from our driver that even office-going people park their vehicles at one point and walk for a long time to their offices. Can't imagine walking so far but also can imagine the wonder and amazement of walking on a beautiful hill with stunning vistas of mountains around you!

We passed by the picturesque town of Solan where colorful houses can be seen nestled prettily among hills. I could only wonder about how the people staying here travel anywhere.... The town sure made up for a post-card perfect picture.

After a sumptuous meal at a restaurant named The Highness we proceeded along the town called Mandi. True to its name, it is a large market with numerous shops and road-side vendors. I rejoiced in the opportunity to see another new place but within minutes, dozed off! When I woke up we had already left the market place.

My sleepy self regretted the loss of seeing that new place till I woke up instantly as I took in the new scenery in front of me. All sleep vanished from my mind.

We had reached Beas Valley where the Beas river flows, in all its glory at some places, in the form of a gurgling steam or a trickle of water at other places... But always there with U on the road. The river and the omnipresent mountains of Himachal never left our sight from that point of time.

I have to say this, unlike the gentle mountains of Shimla, the mountains here felt a bit fiercer and commanded respect and awe. They seemed to say - we are just neutral witnesses, watching the proceedings of the world around us and have nothing to do with it. In the presence of these majestic giants, I felt my tiny identity melt away.

We halted at a place called Aut which has a temple of a Goddess to whom all the drivers pray before proceeding on the curvy highway. There was only contentment on their faces and no trace of any uncertainty or fear about the drive ahead.

As our driver started the car to proceed ahead I took out my mobile with the intention of taking some snaps. I had conveniently forgotten that our driver, like all drivers of Himachal, considered himself as a Ferrari driver. I found myself struggling to hold my mobile as I was flung from one side of the car to another side whenever our car took on a sharp turn. I just laughed helplessly as I kept oscillating from right to left in every sharp turn.

Just when I thought that it couldn't get any worse, our driver got a call in his mobile. To my disbelief and amazement he took the call. One hand on the wheel of the car and another hand holding the mobile, he sped on the highway blissfully talking over the phone. Luckily, a tunnel arrived after few seconds.

The tunnel has been wonderfully created right in the midst of the highway. It's illuminated with enough lights within and both its walls and the road are smooth. Needless to say, this is the first ever tunnel ride that I enjoyed (my mild case of claustrophobia not making its presence felt for the first time inside a tunnel).

After almost an hour, the highway slowly made way for small roads and we found ourselves at a spot called Bhunter which is a river-rafting point. Our driver parked the car in the area and gleefully said "Go ahead and attempt the water rafting!".

I looked at him in disbelief. Here I was shivering with cold and he wanted us to raft in the Beas river! I refused politely and instead we spent some time in the scenic place taking snaps and drinking steaming coffee.

After an hour we were back on the road. This time we passed through Kullu market which is a crowded and narrow road (narrow enough for just one vehicle to pass through). Our Ferrari driver masked his frustration with great difficulty as he couldn't fly his car on this road, however he may wish or try badly. I on the other hand enjoyed the slow and leisurely drive as I took in the market and its shops. Kullu has its own shawl-making factory and a visit to the same is impending.

By 6 in the evening it had already turned as dark as night and I checked the temperature. I stared at my mobile, not knowing how to react. It showed 1 degree and beside it was written, Feels like -1. It didn't feel like 1 degree inside the warm car. I hastily put on my sweater and prepared myself for the temperature outside.

After an hour we reached the area where our hotel was situated and our driver started searching for it. I felt like checking my faithful GPS but something told me that it would be downright insulting to consult GPS in the presence of a driver who has been driving for 23 years without any GPS. Suddenly realization dawned upon him and he exclaimed, "Achcha wo waali hotel!!! Yaad aaya mujhe! Bas pohonch hi gaye... '

Within five minutes we reached the hotel. After checking into the hotel room, we realized that we really didn't feel cold. In fact we couldn't feel anything at all as our hands and legs froze on their own and turned numb with cold.

Well that's a blessing. Because it is best to not feel anything at all than to feel the cold which 'feels like -1'!

Day 4 - Frozen at Manali

We woke up at 6 in the morning, woken up by the internal alarm clock that usually awakens us by that time, wherever we may be. By now we are slowly getting used to the chill but still it never fails to shock us to see negative temperatures.. It was -1 and we resigned ourselves for another cold and freezing day.

The cold in Manali is eerie... in the sense that, u may still manage without a sweater but u can never ever move without gloves or socks. While Shimla made us shiver, Manali thawed our hands and feet to such an extent that after some time we could not feel them at all. In comparison, Kufri feels like a warm hug!

Today's itinerary included a visit to Snow Point or Rohtang Pass ( any one of them). It broke our hearts to hear that Rohtang Pass has already been closed. It was something that we were hoping to visit very badly. Well, as my husband said, if everything is completed in one trip itself, there won't be any excuse to return here... So Rohtang, we will meet u next time for sure!

Now, about Snow Point... Apparently there are two Snow Points in Manali... One is at the Solang Valley and the other is at Hampta Pass... Our driver, on whom we relied heavily, assured us that Hampta is a far better choice than Solang as the views are spectacular there. We decided to follow his advice as we were just concerned with visiting at least one Snow Point.

We left our room at about 10 in the morning. Even at that time the cold weather froze us completely. It was difficult to walk and we took heavy and steps towards our car.

The route was awesome. The snow mountain that we had been seeing from our balcony loomed large in front of us. Most of the mountains had large dumplings of snow. The brown color of the mountains combined with the snow, gave the impression of a large mountain-shaped cake with vanilla and chocolate frosting on it. A snow-mountain is a thing of unimaginable beauty... Neither words nor pictures can do it any justice.

We reached an area called Him-Valley. Here we were supposed to take clothes, shoes and socks fit for snow-laden places. Our vehicle being Etios, the driver said that the vehicle won't take us up to Snow Point and we had to arrange another Vehicle for the same.

Hampta Pass is actually a trekking route on a mountain, at the top of which is Snow Point. The road is, if u can call it a road, narrow and rugged and more suitable for walking than driving. But the larger-than-life views of the mountains on the route more than made up for the bad road.

After 30 minutes of a bumpy ride, we got our first close-up view of snow at the side of the road. It looked like a fluffy and wet cotton ball. I have always wanted to see snow and this was one of my long-time wishes come true.

We reached Snow Point finally and I have to say, it is an absolute delight to walk or trod on snow and to play with it. Your feet will get painfully numb, you will have trouble breathing and you will no longer be able to feel your fingers and nose... But nothing will matter at that point of time. Holding snow in your hands and playing with it, can become seriously addictive. I couldn't keep my hands off the snow and even made my very first snow-man!

We spent two hours there but it didn't feel like two hours. Time hurried up and soon it was time to leave. Leaving the snow has been one of the most difficult things that we have had to do in this trip. It's a precious rarity, this snow, as we won't get to see it in our cities. Someday I hope to return here again.

It was lunch time and our driver suggested a small hotel named Sher-eh-punjab Da Dabha. By now I had learnt to not to doubt our driver's choice of hotels. This time also we weren't disappointed.

The best part of the hotels here? U can safely order a Thaali. I love Thaali but never order it in any hotel in our city. The enormous platter of food tucked in the Thaalis is too much for a single person. But here, in Himachal, I have ordered Thaalis at three hotels and found that the Thaalis here are sufficient with limited amount of food. Normally there would be 2 or 3 rotis, one curry, rice just about enough for a single person and delicious Dal. There is no system of stuffing three types of curries, three types of sweets or the usual amount of food that is stuffed in the Thaalis of big hotels. I just love this system of Himachal - sufficient food, minimal wastage. Wish the hotels in cities also followed this system.

Our driver had yesterday brushed off Solang Valley as not that imperative to visit. But our friends had been recommending a visit there. So we insisted that we would like to visit the valley just to see it. Our driver agreed and we proceeded towards the valley, the snow-mountains never leaving our sight.

Solang is a beautiful valley totally surrounded by snow-mountains on all sides. I seriously doubt whether the valley gets any sunlight. The moment we got out of the car, we were hit by harsh and chilled air. I couldn't stand there for more than five minutes and rushed inside the car, shivering badly.

To visit the Snow Point of this valley, you have to ride a horse or take a small cart. And here is where we are confused. We never got a chance to compare between Solang Valley and Hampta Pass. The heart is satisfied, but the mind whispers - what if the Snow Point here was bigger, better and cheaper than what we paid for Hampta? Being new to this place, we cant help but wonder whether we have been taken for a ride here. Anyways, that's spilled milk now but it's a lesson learnt.

From Solang we proceeded towards the Mall Road. It's a fairly large market with a wide assortment of shops selling winter wear, food, clothes and almost everything that a tourist wishes to buy. There is a Durga Mata temple in the center of the market. We leisurely strolled through the market and took in the city's busy life. Compared to the leisurely and unhurried pace of Shimla, Manali seems to be busy, crowded and active.

The end-of-vacation pangs slowly set in as we reach our hotel room. Just one more day in Manali and then we leave for Chandigarh. I know that it will take a long time for my eyes to get used to seeing just buildings and roads instead of mountains, streams and rugged, twisted, curvy highways. Hoping for time to slow down... Himachal, I am not ready to leave you yet...

Day 5 - In love with Manali

Mornings in Manali can wreak havoc with your mind. One minute, U see dark grey clouds obscuring the Sun in the morning... When U call your partner eagerly to show him the pretty picture, U will see that the Sun has won the battle and is peeping out from the clouds, weak yet determined. U rush inside the room to get your mobile to take a snap and when U come out, the clouds have won over the Sun. This goes on till U don't know how to describe the morning. Cloudy yet sunny? Sunny with a chance of rains? So confusing!

And this is how the first hour of the morning was spent. Even without the sightseeing plan, today was special as it was our tenth anniversary. The plan for this special anniversary celebration has been going on since June and today felt like the culmination of a long process of planning and coordinating and getting excited with the progress of the plan. This anniversary will be always special!

We left the hotel at 11 am. My husband, by now, has become immune to the weather and walked out of the room without winter wear. My over-confident self decided to mimic my husband's gesture but made it only till the car waiting for us outside the hotel. The sweater and gloves were back in two minutes. May be next time, Manali. At least for ten minutes, I would like to stay here without a sweater.

Our first halt was Hadimba Temple, dedicated to the wife of Bheem, the Pandava. The temple as such is small yet the surroundings are awesome. There are tree groves and awesome views of Solang Valley. There is also a small amusement park offering some games for kid. In the same area there is an open temple dedicated to Ghatotkach, son of Bheem and Hidimba.

And here the weather fooled me. A bright Sun shone on the area and I gladly removed my sweater to soak on as much of sunlight as I could. Within seconds, the clouds gathered and it started drizzling. With a tired sigh, I put on the sweater and just shook my head at the sky.

From there we went to a ClubHouse, which, our driver said, is a popular tourist attraction. It is like a Fair, having many stalls selling woolen wear, toys and junk food. It also has a small rivulet where you can try boating and river-crossing. We wanted to try boating but came to know that we only would have to pedal the boats. Me and my husband looked at each other, each one asking the silent question 'Will U?' and both shook our heads simultaneously. I guess, that is the telepathy that U achieve with your partner when U have been together for ten years. Needless to say, we decided to give it a pass.

We then proceeded to Vashisht temple which has hot sulphur springs. While we were driving, the Sun and the clouds again played hide-and-seek with me. Seeing some sunlight peeping in, when I eagerly opened the window of the car, the clouds again blocked the sun and a cold breeze started blowing.

The temple is situated at the top of a hill. Our car dropped us at a point and we had to walk uphill to the temple. I tell U, climbing uphill in the cold weather is equivalent to having an asthma attack. By the time we reached the temple, me and my husband were gasping for breath. After dipping our hands and feet in the hot water(which, by the way, felt wonderful) we took Darshan of the deity of the temple, Rishi Vashist and also went to another temple in the same area dedicated to Lord Ram. The downhill journey to our car seemed relatively easier and quicker.

Our driver brought us to the same hotel as yesterday for lunch. I ordered a Thaali again, realising that this is probably the only place where I can finish a Thaali's contents completely without wasting any. This is one of the things that I will miss in the city.

After lunch, our driver took us to Him Valley which is a small amusement area that showcases some cultural dance programs, magic shows and some games for all age groups. We spent an hour there and enjoyed the dance programs.

Tibetan Monastery was next on the list. It's a very beautiful Buddhist temple having a large statue of Lord Buddha. There are several rotating mettalic cylindrical disks placed on the walls of the temple. We have to rotate the disks one by one, all the while repeating the words Om Mani Padme Hum. It's an ancient Mantra for meditation and peace. We could have achieved both today, if it were not for the steady stream of people that kept visiting the temple.

The monastery is located at Mall Road and we strolled leisurely , taking in the many shops and food stalls there. There is a wide choice of winter wear and we were strongly tempted to buy some. Only the fact that we won't be needing these in Hyderabad , kept us from buying anything.

At a food stall we saw Maggi and it invoked a strange kind of emotion. Maggi seems to be the favorite food of most of the tourists here and it has become a special delicacy of both Shimla and Manali. Feeling ridiculously sentimental we ate Maggi at the stall. It seemed like a proper way to end our last day here.

We kept strolling through the market, not wishing to return to our hotel. We strolled as much as we could, until we could no longer dally and returned to our hotel with sad hearts and happy memories.

The staff of the hotel in Manali are really good in building relations with their customers. Because of these simple and good -natured people, this hotel is much more harder to leave though it wasn't as posh as the resort in Shimla. We really wish that this hotel gets more and more customers in future and grows rapidly as a brand of Manali.

Tomorrow we leave for Chandigarh. The only thing that is saving me from end-of-vacation depression is the prospect of the 8-hour long drive (one of my favorite travelling fantasies come true).

Last Day - 8-hour long drive to Chandigarh with memories of the trip

Time has a way of speeding up when U are enjoying yourself too much. The days of our trip sped by, one after another and today we found ourselves moving out of Manali and subsequently out of Himachal for good.

It was a slow, backward rewinding of our trip from Shimla to Manali. The wonderful tunnel came first, followed by the temple of the Goddess to whom the drivers pray. Then came Beas River and Beas Valley where this time, we halted for half-n-hour and took some snaps of the breath-taking vista before us. The village which I had missed in the trip of Shimla-Manali by dozing off, Mandi, gave another chance to me and this time I checked it out. We had lunch in the same hotel The Highness and reached the same place where the goats had created a mini traffic-jam. A left turn from there would have led us to Shimla and we took the right turn, gazing longingly at the direction of Shimla with whom we had fallen in love at first sight itself.

The rest of the journey was uneventful as we again passed through rugged highways and saw the beautiful lake of Bilaspur (no, not of Chattisgarh, there's one at HP too).

At a small Dabha at the outskirts of HP, we bid adieu to the last mountain in our sight. Thereafter the route took us on a smooth highway directly to Chandigarh where we checked into a very good hotel.

And that is where I am writing this from.

Himachal has changed my perspective about many things. Maggi will never be the same again. It has always been my favorite food, but now, due to its association with HP, it has become really special. Shimla taught me the real meaning of cheating. It is not when someone lies to you or dupes you. It is when U turn on the knob of the tap but realise it too late that it is the knob of the shower. The icy spray can leave you paralyzed for several seconds. Speed has altered it's meaning forever. I will no longer crib about Hyderabad drivers, thanks to the drivers of HP. A highway won't be a highway unless it is twisted and curvy, with a mountain on one side and the deep valley on another side.

And on this note, I am ending my Himachal Diaries. Thank U reader, for being with us all these days. Those who have already been to HP, we hope we refreshed your memories. And those who are yet to visit this wonderful place, I hope that when U visit HP (and I hope that blessed moment comes soon in your life), U will remember us while visiting all those places mentioned in my Diary.